A New Slant on a Very, Very Old Scam

I received an extraordinary letter today.

It came from someone called Gulza Dean, who described himself as an 'Attorney at Law', and gave himself out to be of 'Docklands, London'. There was no address on the letter - and sadly, as Royal Mail seems to be saving on ink these days, I can't tell you where the letter was posted. I can, though, tell you that it cost Mr. Dean 60 pence to post it to me.

Mr. Dean wanted to speak to me - actually quite urgently - in his capacity as the personal attorney of Mr. Leo Metliss whom, he advised me, died in a train crash at Ladbroke Grove near Paddington on October the 5th, 1999.

The late Leo, according to Mr. Dean, died possessed of some Eight Million, Three Hundred Thousand Dollars. A nice round sum.

Mr. Dean (who apparently does not have access to a London telephone directory) wrote that he had been searching without success for many years to find someone to whom to give the money - which is apparently shortly due to be 'confiscated' by the bank should he fail to provide 'Notice of Next of Kin' within a very short time.

He did not, of course, specify which bank was about to take this very peculiar (and illegal!) step.

On the other hand, though, and on mature reflection, Mr. Dean did offer to share the Eight Million, Three Hundred Thousand with me. Well - once we had worked out 'the sharing ratio' and the 'modalities for transfer'.

If I use all my fingers and toes - and perhaps one or two of my wife's fingers and toes - I can account for every living Metliss. I can also account for every single 'Metliss' who is, sadly, no longer with us. There is not, and never was, a 'Leo Metliss'.

I would have written this letter off as a joke in bad taste were it not for the reference to the Ladbroke Grove Train Crash. As it is, I don't think I can. I don't know where this man found me - but I don't want him targeting the families of people who really were almost at Paddington in October 1999.