How to be a Bigot - or a 'peruvian'

Well, we all know how to be a bigot. Or at least we do now. One need only be a thinking and articulate person and ask the right questions of the wrong man at an appropriate time to be a bigot. Simple!

Being a 'peruvian' though is something else. Having a bad attitude, a big mouth (and a big foot to put into it!) doesn't quite cut the mustard on that one. They help, of course - but to be a real 'peruvian' you need talent and application and a certain aptitude for the role.

I hadn't thought of the word 'peruvian' for many years until I read about Gillian Duffy today - and I only thought about it then because Mrs Duffy reminded me quite strongly of my mother. Like my mother, Mrs Duffy is definitely not a woman to be trifled with.

My mother was not a native English speaker. Some of the words she used were therefore incorrect - or incorrectly applied. Most of the time we at home could work out where those words originated - we all knew for example, that an 'advocado' wasn't a foreign lawyer, but was something green with a big stone in it that ended up on your plate. We never, though, got to the bottom of 'peruvian'.

To our knowledge, my mother knew no one from Peru, had never met anyone from Peru and had nothing against Peruvians, but she applied the words 'he's a peruvian' to describe a certain kind of person so often that we all knew exactly what she meant.

After today's exhibition - so do you. Gordon Brown is a 'peruvian'. And his grovelling apology to Mrs Duffy can never change that fact in her eyes, or mine.